It is the Jewish Day of Atonement. Year 5769 on the Hebrew Calendar. On Rosh Hashanah (the new year), God supposedly inscribes each person's fate for the coming year into a "book"--I'm not sure which one. On Yom Kippur, our fate is sealed and so the Day of Atonement is used to ask for forgiveness for everything that you've done wrong since last year. To prepare yourself for such self-flagellation and confession, it is expected that you refrain from those worldly activities that ordinarily keep you from really seeing or knowing yourself. Here they are in no particular order of importance: eating and drinking, wearing leather shoes, bathing, anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions, and sexual relations. Well, I can say with great comfort that I have refrained from one of those activities today.
The other thing that's true about Yom Kippur is that if you are not healthy then you don't have to fully refrain from, for instance, eating or drinking. That said, I use this Yom Kippur loophole whenever necessary especially because I do not like to fast especially abstain from my morning dose of caffeine. And this year, I'm using it. I have been sick this year and I was sick last week and I am still on blood thinner medication, so I believe that I qualify.
Now, even though, it's been far from a day of abstinence for me, this doesn't mean that I couldn't have gone to synagogue or prayed or atoned for the sins of the past year. I could have done all of those, but, frankly, I didn't feel like it. I know that's not a very pious attitude but I've had a crazy year during which I've been sufficiently punished for the sins of an entire lifetime. In fact, because I was sick for so much of this year, I didn't really have time to commit any more sins. So, I spent most of the day at home eating, when needed, bathing and, yes, applying lotion afterwards, and visiting with my friend Don, who was home from work. (Tonight, I'll wear leather shoes when I go out for break-the-fast dinner--I know I didn't fast, but that's what they call the meal at the close of Yom Kippur.)
I feel fine about my day and the way I've spent it. I've spent enough of my life feeling badly about my misdeeds and it's really never done me much good anyway. I'd like to instead start feeling just fine about all of the good things that I've done and continue to do on a daily basis. I've grown up over the past few years and I'm getting increasingly confident that I will not and do not deserve to be punished for behaving like a heathen on Yom Kippur. And, if I don't get included along with the Good People in that book this year and God does decide to punish me (again!), I have a secret hope about how I'd like to go. Since the Blue Angels are out today practicing for this weekend's display, I thought it would be quite dramatic if, on their way from the east towards the Pacific, they might dip their wings just a little too early and crash into my living room and, thus, me. Now, that would be some form of punishment, and, oy, the stories my family would tell!
Again, I'm expecting this year to be punishment-free. Happy New Year one and all!
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